Oh, Lord I truly can’t thank you enough for who you are, for what you have done, for what you will do, for all that I have, for all that will be. You know me Lord, You know my good is only because of you, you know my bad which is the total opposite of you and you know my ugly which is because I made the choice to do my will instead of yours. You know all of this, you forgive all that I need you to and you always love me anyway!! I love you so much Lord BUT I want to love you more! I Know, you know that too!! That makes me smile and you knew that it would!!
I scream, does anyone hear me? I scream louder, still it seems no one hears me. How can I scream so loudly yet not be heard? It is a silent scream, I scream. It is a scream that says, Why Lord? It is a scream that says, When will it stop? It is a scream that says, I can’t take it anymore! It is a scream of despair! It is a silent scream, I scream. Later this scream truly goes silent, and when the world around me goes silent too, there comes a voice of one that has heard my scream. This voice belongs to the ONE, that brings hope where there was despair. HE brings calm after the storm and peace where there was only fear. HE assures me that I can go on, I can survive even IF this storm comes again, and no matter how silent my plea, my cry or my scream may be, HE will always hear me. HE reminds me that He knows my every need because HE truly knows me. HE whispers His love to me as He holds me close, HE says it will all be alright, HE urges me to stay close to HIM, to hold on to HIM. HE even said it’s o.k. if I scream this silent scream because HIS ears can take it! This makes me smile and HE knew it would! I once again feel safe HE knew that too! I tell HIM that I am so sorry for all the times I doubt, for all the times I lose hope, for all the times I have missed our daily time together, I am so sorry for…………… HE speaks up and says HE knows and all is forgiven. I keep bringing up my weekness’, my sin, my questions, my concerns. Oh what am I doing? I keep talking when I should be listening, so I say I am sorry that I am talking so much. HE says that’s alright, HE is used to it. HE says remember I created you, I know how you are. This makes me smile and HE knew it would. I hold onto HIM and HE holds onto me and I REST!