Today is for Reflection

According to most of the world I’m not a “Real”  mom.

You see I am a mom through the gift of adoption. One day my sons could decide they wanted to find their “Real”  mom. If that happened and a news crew followed them, most of the world would think “oh, isn’t this wonderfu, another “Real” family has been reunited.” Well truthfully when I reflect on this ” way of thinking” it  makes me sad, it makes me angry, it makes me jealous and it makes me fearful.

You see I feel very REAL…………….I love my children so much sometimes it feels like a big hand is squeezing my heart and it can even hurt at times. I truly want the very best for them, I want them to know God and His son Jesus, I want them to be healthy, I want all their daily needs to be met, I want them to be successful (not talking about money), I want them to be happy (in HIM) not themselves, I want them to trust God with everything in them, to trust that His plans for their lives are always the very best, I never want them to feel that anything is missing in them or their lives or that they got second best because they were put up for adoption. The love, the hurt, the pain, the joy, the peace, the contentment, the worry (and so many other feelings) that I have felt since our boys were brought into our lives feels very REAL to me. 

I do always want what is best and what is God’s will (which are the same) for my boys so God is really going to have to help me with the idea of them wanting to search out any genetic relations. God is also going to have to help me not be upset when someone ask me about the boys “real mom” or “real parents”. I do trust that He will help me in these areas but as I reflect on this today………………….. I know “I’m just not there yet”.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Tricia says:

    You are the real mom the Lord specifically chose for your boys. And, of course, God always does what is THE best!!

  2. Felina says:

    Thank you for sharing this Angie. I personally know how you feel because our oldest is ours through the gift of adoption and we love him with everything that is in us. It would bother me so much when people would talk about his “real” parents and when we would have a “child of our own,” because to us he is and has always been ours. I was told before that when we “had our own,” we would not feel the same but that is so far from the truth, he is our oldest and first born as far as we are concerned. Also, his birth mother is my older sister which sometimes seems to make it harder because she has other children and Dustin now knows he is adopted. We had asked the Lord to let us know when the right time was to tell him because sometimes people talk and we did not want him to hear it from anyone but us and one day when he was in Kindergarten he asked “Am I adopted?” The Lord has shown Joe and I that He has a high calling on Dustin’s life and we learned that we have to the enemy harder than we ever thought we would because we see things come against him at such an early age. I never want him to feel rejected, jealous, unloves or any other feelings that try to come to him. We know that the name of Jesus is higher than anything that tries to come into his life and we ask God to help us be the best parents for all of our children. Your feelings are very real and normal, I have the same ones, I understand the joy, excitement, fears, and tears. Love ya!

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